Anonymous asked: I recently came out lesbian to my best friend,he is cool with it,and so far the only person that knows. My biggest concern is my parents. They are very conservative Christians,are homophobic,and are against LGBT rights. As you can imagine,I am in a scary place right now. I do not want to be thrown out of my house or disowned,I have no place to go. What do you think I should do? ~El
If you don’t feel safe coming out, you don’t need to,
Never feel pressured to do it because all that matters is you’re in a place in your life that you feel safe coming out.
Listen to yourself, not to the bullshit the community spews.
Anonymous asked: I'm bipolar, and currently suicidal. I can't be myself around my family because they wouldn't accept me. My friends don't seem to care much about me lately, and the boy I've fallen for just sees me as a kid. I want to start smoking, I think it might help with my anxiety. But mostly I just want to die.
Hey, I know things seem super overwhelming right now, but there’s no need to make any rash decisions right now. If you need to talk to someone immediately you can always chat with the people at crisischat online or call a hotline.
Smoking weed or cigarettes? I’m not a big fan of weed myself, but I know a ton of people who are, it may help. If you meant cigarettes, I’m not advocating for them, but I’m also not one to shame you into not smoking, I know first hand how relaxing they may be. But they also fucked with my acid reflux really bad. Whatever you decide, be safe.
Good luck, friend. I hope everything will be okay.
Anonymous asked: My gf and I broke up coz she felt she couldn't be with me due to her own problems(depression,self harming)she said she still wanted to be friends but still had feelings for me. We agreed on this but she started being so distant, I ask her to meet up she's always busy/ignores me. She says it's coz of the way she's feeling but its making me miserable, Its like she doesn't care. I miss her so much and just want to talk face to face to get some answers but she won't let that happen. What do I do?
Sounds to me like someone who isn’t worth your time. If she isn’t going to be kind enough to at least answer your questions, then the best option is to just try to move on.
I hope that helped.
Anonymous asked: I’m 19 and I have been hiding the fact that I’m a lesbian for several years and recently, I’ve grown tired of it. I would like to come out to my parents and to my best friend. My father is the one I’m worried about. He is not necessarily homophobic, but has the mindset that such a lifestyle is acceptable so long as it doesn’t affect him directly. He was in the military and, as I’ve followed in his footsteps, his respect means the world to me. Any advice on how to come out to your parents? Thanks
People can surprise you and your dad may end up being the most accepting and supportive. That being said, my best guess would be to come out to your mom first and get her idea of how he may react and then go from there.
Anonymous asked: (Female) I used to be bisexual, but then I was gang raped. (7 months ago) (i was drugged and don't remember much of it) I thought I was still straight because I still find men attractive physically when I look at them. Last week, I tried listening
To some audio erotica but as soon as the male voice came on I got extremely anxious and nauseous. I haven’t had enjoyable sex with a man since the incident, and I’m starting to feel like having this traumatic thing happen might have caused me to turn Lesbian.. before I was like a 6 on the Kinsey scale, now I feel like an 8 or 9. I still find men attractive, but can’t imagine having sex with one without getting anxious. I seem to have no problem with women. My question is, do you think this Change in my sexuality will be permanent? Do you think I should try to become comfortable with men sexually again?
It’s understandable that after your experience you would feel off-put in situations involving men, but I doubt that it caused you to ”turn lesbian.” Queer people are not vampires, you will not “turn” lesbian by questioning or testing your sexuality, it is not ‘permanent’ unless you want it to be.
Also, just so you know the Kinsey Scale, developed by Alfred Kinsey in 1948, as a way to prove that there were not two separate categories of only heterosexual and homosexual. This scale goes from 0, being exclusively heterosexual, and 6 being exclusively homosexual with 3 being bisexual in the center.
It sounds like you are comfortable with women but still like men and that’s okay too. Over time your feelings may change and you should not feel pressured to be with a man if you’re not ready, not being with one will not turn you into a lesbian, it will just make you single.
-JD guest answered this question, thank u JD.
Anonymous asked: I'm in my first relationship with a woman. I'm trans (ftm) btw. We've touched on the subject of sex and I've told her that I want to wait cause I want to take my time with her and have something good.But the idea of sex with her is freakin me out because Ive never had penetrative sex with a woman.I really want to please her but I wouldn't begin to know how to even prepare for sex with her.Would it be too impetuous to buy toys? I feel really ignorant but i'm clueless outside of oral and fingering
Dialogue is key! If you feel comfortable, ask her what she feels comfortable with, what she is interested in, etc.
I think when my partner and I started seriously dating, we both went to the store and bought my first strap on together. It was a really nerve-wracking experience for me, but it was an awesome thing to do with her because she was super supportive of everything.
Once you get one, just have fun with it! Listen to her and follow her lead, is the best advice I can give. And position it over your anatomy (clit) so it feels good for you too!
If you have more questions about having sex as someone who is FTM, don’t hesitate to ask!
Anonymous asked: I'm a 17 year old lesbian and I came out to my mum as bi but with a preference for girls (to make it a bit easier) a few months ago but recently she keeps talking about me getting a boyfriend and I keep saying that I don't want a boyfriend. Is she trying to ignore the fact that I like girls? Should I tell her straight up that I'm gay?
I’m not sure if she’s trying to ignore the fact that you like girls, necessarily, but you know how pushy parents are. If you feel safe telling her you’re gay, then I suggest doing that! It may stop her, but it may not. Do not despair if she still tries to get you to get a boyfriend, be strong, friend! It’ll be rough and feel free to write back to us here!
Anonymous asked: I'm ftm, and when I'm older I would like to be a teacher. I want to be adressed as Mr., not Ms. However, I don't intend to get sex confirmation surgery so legally I would still be a female. Will this mean my students will have to adress me as Ms.?
Are you sure you need surgery to change your legal gender? But if you don’t want to go through legal proceedings to change your gender, that’s totally fine too.
This may be tricky. Are you willing to legally change your name? I feel like that may be something that could help. If you introduce yourself as Mr. xxxx you should be fine. I don’t think students don’t ever see your legal gender, so as long as you have a consensus of the staff/colleagues/etc. calling you Mr. xxxx I have optimism! There may be some deal of not being able to be stealth to people who work with your paper work though..
I could be completely wrong and have not researched this for myself. My mom is an elementary school teacher and I’d be down to ask her if she has any more insight. I will update you on this later.
Anonymous asked: I was born a female, and I now, at 15, identify as a male. Obviously, I'm too young for surgery, but my breasts make me very uncomfortable, and too feminine. Are there any ways I can reduce the size, or reduce the appearance of them naturally?
Hudson’s Guide to binding is pretty helpful.
If you were thinking of reducing the size of your chest itself, I’ve heard that doing exercises that target your chest muscles will tone down the fatty part of your chest. Pull ups, push ups, etc.
If you have any questions about binding itself, don’t hesitate to ask.
Anonymous asked: Hey there, I'm a lesbian in my early 20s, and I'm in the closet to my family because my family is very homophobic and constantly question if my gay friends are going to "make me gay" and ignorant stuff like that. I am out to all of my friends, they are great and accepting. However, I am worried that being in the closet to my family will scare people I am interested off. Coming out isn't an option right now (and probably won't be for a while). I don't know what to do about this situation.
I hate to say it, but it may scare some people off. The bright side is that those who don’t see your need to stay in the closet as valid are the ones that aren’t worth your time. If someone is pressuring you to come out when you’re neither ready or feel it’s safe to do so, then they aren’t someone you should be dating. It is entirely valid to stay in the closet. The intense pressure the queer community puts on its members to come out is bullshit. It’s not something of value. It’s actually a form of privilege to be able to come out and people need to recognize that before they equate being a mature queer to coming out of the closet.
I wish you luck in finding someone who accepts your situation and treats you in wonderful ways.