Anonymous asked: Hi. I was born with female parts, but now I'm questioning my gender. Sometimes I want to be really pretty, and sometimes really handsome and mostly my clothes are androgynous. Everyone uses female pronouns for me, and I've never given it much thought until now, but I wouldn't really care if male pronouns were used. The only reason why I'm pondering this now is because my binder for cosplay came in the mail, and I feel really, really confident in it, and want to wear it to school now. Thanks.

You should wear what makes you happy. There is nothing wrong with it, and you’re allowed to use whatever pronouns you want to, and wear any clothes with those pronouns. Certain pronouns do not mean you have to wear certain clothes. 

Wear what you want to, and go by whatever pronouns make you comfortable. This is your gender expression/idenity, and you can do whatever you want to. 

-Dylan

Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I were just joking around and somehow it got to the topic of gay people(I made a your mom joke and he said it was creepy because it was like I was a lesbian) and he said he didn't agree with them and I told him I was bisexual and he got really quiet and now I think he's avoiding me. What should I do?

You should not be with a partner who doesn’t support you and your sexuality. You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t respect you. 

You should be with someone who respects you and your sexuality. 

Anonymous asked: Hey so i'm in the closet and i was wondering if there was a sapcific age you should come out?

Hello!

There is no specific age to come out. Come out when you are ready, and feel comfortable. There is no such thing as too young to come out, or too old. 

Good luck!

-Dylan 

Anonymous asked: I'm 17 years old and physically female. Lately though I've been really confused about my gender identity. Sometimes I see myself as a girl, sometimes a guy. I've heard of people being gender fluid and I think I might be. The thing that really confuses me though is that I'm only compelled to wear female clothes, even when I see myself as a guy. I'm just sure about anything at the moment, please help if you can, it would be appreciated :)

Hello!

I identify as gender fluid, and I just recently came out. I have a vagina, and was assigned female at birth. I enjoy wearing feminine clothing, and masculine clothing. I completely understand your concern. 

Gender Identity and gender expression don’t have to align. You can wear what ever you’d like to, and identify as what ever you want to. Your feelings are valid, and there is nothing wrong with you! 

I hope this helps,

Dylan

femmeberry asked: Hey Im 20 and have been in a lesbian relationship for about a year, and shes amazing and i love her to death. But she cant make me 'O' if you know what i mean & she does turn me on, i get very aroused, but I can't 'O' no matter how close I get..why?

Hello! 

I’m a sexual health educator and what I recommend most to people who have trouble with orgasming with their partners is to try masturbating by yourself first. Can you make your self orgasm? What do you think about when you orgasm? Find your spots and get more comfortable with yourself. Maybe your need to use a sex toy? Something that vibrates? Not all orgasms are the same, and something that may work for your partner may not work for you. 

When you are ready to, talk to your partner and share with them what turns you on, or off, or what brings you close to reaching an orgasm. Guide them and keep open communication. If they can’t make you orgasm, or you have to “finish the job” there is nothing wrong with that, and that is just how your body works. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her, or aren’t attracted to her, its just hard to orgasm for you. And that is perfectly normal. 

Good luck and I hope this helps!

-Dylan

Anonymous asked: My gf and I have been together for 6-7 months. Her mother doesn't approve of us even though we haven't come out to her as being in a relationship. She's stopped talking to her for about 5 months now and they live together. My gf decided to take a break from our relationship. What should I do to help? I haven't exactly been the most supportive of the break and she hates me for it. I'm lost. Help?

If she wants a break, you should give her one. Give her space to figure out what she needs to. It may not be what you want to happen, but if that is what she wants, you should respect her wishes. That is the best way to help her. 

-Dylan

Anonymous asked: I am a 16-year-old queer girl from New Zealand and I have no idea how to go about coming out or how I would be accepted in the queer community. I'm small and academic, I play the flute in the orchestra, I feel like this is the last thing anyone would expect from me? The whole queer community seems to be so vibrant and colourful and out there, and I'm just a little introvert who wants to kiss a girl. Is coming out a good idea at all if I'm not going to fit in in my new demographic?

Hello!

I completely understand how you feel. I played the flute as well! I came out in the 8th grade to my parents and friends, and went to high school as out as bisexual. Since then I have learned more about the queer community, and found my own personal space in the community. 

I tried reaching out to my hometown’s queer community, and I was rejected because at the time I was bisexual. But I also was rejected from the heterosexual community because I liked girls. 
But, I never stopped being honest about who I was, and who I was attracted to. It is apart of who you are. Eventually you can find a community that will accept you, just don’t be afraid to be honest.

There is no such thing as not queer enough, and all because you play the flute, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be queer. I know a TON of queer introverts, and they are all academic. There is no such thing as a set queer personality type, so do NOT feel pressured to change who you are, or do something that makes you uncomfortable to prove your queerness. Just be you, and that is all that matters. 

I hope this helped!

-Dylan 

Anonymous asked: I recently came out lesbian to my best friend,he is cool with it,and so far the only person that knows. My biggest concern is my parents. They are very conservative Christians,are homophobic,and are against LGBT rights. As you can imagine,I am in a scary place right now. I do not want to be thrown out of my house or disowned,I have no place to go. What do you think I should do? ~El

If you don’t feel safe coming out, you don’t need to,
Never feel pressured to do it because all that matters is you’re in a place in your life that you feel safe coming out.
Listen to yourself, not to the bullshit the community spews.

Anonymous asked: I'm bipolar, and currently suicidal. I can't be myself around my family because they wouldn't accept me. My friends don't seem to care much about me lately, and the boy I've fallen for just sees me as a kid. I want to start smoking, I think it might help with my anxiety. But mostly I just want to die.

Hey, I know things seem super overwhelming right now, but there’s no need to make any rash decisions right now. If you need to talk to someone immediately you can always chat with the people at crisischat online or call a hotline

Smoking weed or cigarettes? I’m not a big fan of weed myself, but I know a ton of people who are, it may help. If you meant cigarettes, I’m not advocating for them, but I’m also not one to shame you into not smoking, I know first hand how relaxing they may be. But they also fucked with my acid reflux really bad. Whatever you decide, be safe.

Good luck, friend. I hope everything will be okay. 

Anonymous asked: My gf and I broke up coz she felt she couldn't be with me due to her own problems(depression,self harming)she said she still wanted to be friends but still had feelings for me. We agreed on this but she started being so distant, I ask her to meet up she's always busy/ignores me. She says it's coz of the way she's feeling but its making me miserable, Its like she doesn't care. I miss her so much and just want to talk face to face to get some answers but she won't let that happen. What do I do?

Sounds to me like someone who isn’t worth your time. If she isn’t going to be kind enough to at least answer your questions, then the best option is to just try to move on.

I hope that helped.
Ari.